“And now some breaking news….. late this afternoon, the local  zoo was broken into and several animals released from their  enclosures. Thankfully due to the inclement weather there were few visitors, the two lions were cornered quite quickly by the Zoo keepers and safely returned to the enclosure.
However several animals are still at large, people are requested not to approach them if seen, just ring the Zoo and they’ll arrange their capture.

CC TV captured the villains who committed this heinous crime ! Please ring the Village police with the details if they are known to you.

The shifty eyed black and white one , trying to hide in this photo, we believe to be the ring leader.

We also believe they may have robbed a jewelers by the size of the Emerald the accomplice is carrying over his shoulder.

Take a good look at the first shifty eyed villain, someone somewhere must know who this hardened crime boss is!

They start to hurry away , do you know where these villains live..

Now moving on…. Mrs Grenlow’s chickens have won a major art award for their painting entitled
“Scratching corn ”
Mrs G lays down artist paper all over her field and trays of paints and waits for her chickens to walk through the paint and over the paper. She’s already sold two of the chickens paintings to the Tate Modern in London for several thousand pounds.

When asked what she thought of her chickens making such high value art she replied ” I’s never been impressed by those that lives down in that London an I ain’t changed my pinion ta’ll , if’n thems idiots wants to pay me money for that s  crappy leavings, i’s not so stupid as not to takes it, now am i’s? ”
Our reporter went to see the artist chickens and watched them make more art work…..